Cats in Cardboard Boxes
Dubious soup and mindful meditation with Clive at Samye Ling
A couple of weeks ago, a friend asked if I’d like to join her for the weekend at Samye Ling Tibetan Buddhist Monastery for a course on Compassionate Emotional Intelligence with teacher Clive Holmes. I said yes. I couldn’t put my finger on why, but it just felt right.
My head has been a jumble of overthinking of late, of striving to prepare for the book launch: marketing plans and spreadsheets of newspapers, magazines, podcasts, bookshops, etc. to approach. I was deep into social media - Instagram, Substack (and yes, this is social media, especially since Notes arrived) and Facebook - building those audiences, answering comments hoping to jog the algorithms to act in my favour, popping up on others’ posts (that parasitic way of expanding one’s reach). I was booking venues, planning launches online and in person. I have revamped my website, started writing journal posts there and got to grips with Mailerlite, sending out newsletters. And scrolling. So much scrolling. Scrolling when I woke up, before I’d got out of bed, scrolling as I ate my breakfast, scrolling as the bath was filling at the end of the day. What was I looking for? Cats in cardboard boxes, Clive suggested as he opened the first session with a smile. Over-stimulation, he explained, makes us out of touch with our bodies. Distraction is the opposite of mindfulness, leaving the body stuck in overthinking.
There is no phone signal at Samye Ling, and unless you go to the cafe and log in to the WiFi, there is no internet connection either. I chose not to go there, to go cold turkey and have no connection with the outside world for the weekend. Unheard of.
The Nirvana Express is about to leave the station
Following a supper of dubious soup, the course participants gathered in a large room: meditation mats and cushions for those experienced and supple enough to hold a lotus or sit cross-legged for hours at a time, a bank of chairs for those of us who could not.
‘The Nirvana Express is about to leave the station,’ Clive said with a smile and a giggle and an invitation to slow down, to move out of our heads and into our bodies. Over the weekend, we would be shown how to catch and release emotions. For anger disconnects and love brings us together.
Bring it on, I thought - I have been struggling with a huge personal problem of late: close to home, and in the family. It has been weighing very heavily, taking up space in my mind as I ruminate on how to fix it, but never coming up with an answer. I have been struggling to move on, taking it all personally and caught in a circle of shame and blame.
‘Turn your melodrama into a mellow drama,’ Clive suggested. ‘Open your hearts and your minds’.
And then he led us in a 15-minute meditation. The weekend was peppered with 15-minute meditations: mindfulness being the way to plant pure seeds, Clive told us. To open a space in the mind, to leave the head-thinking and return to the body.
We did a walking meditation, both in the hall and again, outside in the monastery grounds. I was moved to tears and something in me opened, as the 90 course participants walked slowly, lifting one foot mindfully before replacing it and lifting the other, giving eye contact and smiling at each other when we met. This being part of a whole, the interconnectedness, being met by smiling eyes and faces. Unconditional love and acceptance. Kindness. And as a woman hugged me, I sobbed.
Being part of a group of people like this was huge for me. Abused emotionally and spiritually at the hands of fundamental Christianity, I have run away and isolated myself, afraid to connect with a spiritual life. But here I was, at the foot of a mountain, on a path to discovering how to create a space to find peace. How to plant pure seeds in my soul, lacing up my walking boots and setting off on a new path.
We all have difficult emotions, but if we can be mindful, we can be aware of them and catch those negative emotions when they rise. Catch and release. Through the practice of mindfulness, we can create a space between the anger or jealousy and choose the attitude which serves us and others best.
Today, I choose to be grateful, because it is good for my health.
I had to laugh when, on my return home, I opened up Instagram. I had a new follower, and when I checked her feed, guess what she showed photos of? You guessed it, cats in cardboard boxes. I turned my phone off again and walked down the garden.
Thank you for reading RIPE🍑 this week. I’d love to know: do you have a regular meditation practice?
Is this something you’d like to develop?
Are you caught up in a cycle of overthinking and scrolling?
Would you benefit from pausing right here and now to breathe? Even just three deep breaths, in and out, concentrating on your breath, is a start.
I’m finding the free meditations online with Tara Brach so helpful as I develop my morning mindful meditation practice. This was the one I did today:
Go gently and have compassion for yourself. We are all on a journey of discovery.
With love,
Find out more about Samye Ling Tibetan Buddhist Centre HERE
I do not meditate per se. But I do consider my daily walks with my dog a sort of meditation. I wrote a book about ADHD so I definitely benefit by doing less scrolling. LOL But outside of that specific "space" I'm pretty good about my social media use.
Love this, Sue! And also this: 'We all have difficult emotions, but if we can be mindful, we can be aware of them and catch those negative emotions when they rise. Catch and release. Through the practice of mindfulness, we can create a space between the anger or jealousy and choose the attitude which serves us and others best.' 🌸