The Third Act of Life
On coming through the menopause gateway and the excitement it brings
We talk as writers about the three-part structure: three acts, with a beginning, a middle and an end. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about this, about how my life could be grouped accordingly. I have now come into the third act, stepping through the menopause gateway, and am discovering who I am beyond daughter, wife, and mother and I have every intention to make my third act, fabulous.
This week,
shared our interview on her substack, Flucking Flourishing, in which she asked me about my menopausal journey and how I see things now. She asked me about the perimenopause, which, when I look back, was the final scene in the second act. It was messy, and it didn’t end well. Back then I had never heard of perimenopause, and if the word existed, I had never heard of it! We talked about the messy (literally) parts of menopause, the myths and truths.‘Sue’s story is a masterclass in resilience, reinvention, and embracing the messy magic of midlife.’
Lisa says in her introduction. ‘Sue’s story is a masterclass in resilience, reinvention, and embracing the messy magic of midlife.’ You can read my interview on Flucking Flourishing here
Now I pass from midlife into my elder years, my cronehood, and I embrace these with open arms.
This is the time when I find my voice, find the courage to speak my truth, unearth the stories that have been buried deep, free my body of the pain of trauma that dragged it down for so long, and move into a time of self-respect, building the self-esteem that was so lacking in the first two acts. I respect my body, and I want to fill it with good things, freeing myself from the alcohol trap (see last week’s post, January Gin) and losing the weight that has dragged me down for so long. I accept my body and thank it for all it has given me: giving birth to three children and the many adventures we have gone on, my body and me.
In this third act, I am a writer and have many books planned. I have been a teacher, and museum guide, and have run my own business as the Woolly Pedlar, and now, another whole chapter awaits. I am working towards being fit and healthy, a work in progress, but one I embrace. I’ve learnt to set boundaries around those who trigger my past and I am no longer riddled with shame and guilt. It is a wonderful place to be. Many adventures are still to come, and I am excited about what Act 3 will bring.
If you are ‘a woman of a certain age’, what does your third act look like?
Maybe grab a journal and see what comes up? Take it slowly, maybe a question a day/week - or just go with the flow!
How can you make life the best you can?
Are there any changes you could make to give your body the respect it deserves?
Is there anything you need to walk away from - something that no longer serves you?
Do you need to set some boundaries around somewhere or someone who triggers your past?
What can you embrace about the third act of your life?
Feel free to chat in the comments below!
I think you and I are on the same trajectory, Sue, since going through menopause and all the shit that went with it at the time, looking after elderly parents from a distance and dealing with their subsequent deaths before being made redundant - which was the icing on a shitty decade.
After a health hiccup, I got off to a wobbly start in 2024 but finished the year on a high. I am in the autumn of my life, teetering on the downhill slippery slope towards 'oldagedom,' but I have never felt more determined to succeed. I am doing three exercises a week, knocking things off my travel bucket list, and, as for my writing, I am more driven than ever before.
So, here's to us and all our goals and ambitions for the future—writing and otherwise. I raise my glass of fizzy water to you. Salud!
Since approaching and turning 60, I've felt a 'now or never' nudge. I've read about others who experienced that around the same age (not just women). It's like a return to all the things I loved as a child but have parked over time due to other commitments. My focus is on doing what brings me joy and happiness, and adopting a very different lifestyle.
Last year, at 59, for the first time I got involved with lambing on a friend's farm. This is my second year. It's much more 'me' than many of the things I've done in my life. It's sometimes hard work, muddy, messy but I absolutely love it. It's something I never imagined doing but spending time on the farm is my sanctuary.
We know several women in their 80s and 90s who are my role models. They're sassy, have opinions, travel, are creative, a bit eccentric, and all living life to the full. That's how I want to live my life.
I had a conventional career. Working in offices, suited and booted, being the good employee. I've tried to escape a few times but got drawn back in. I'm really done with that now and pursuing different, more unconventional avenues.